Its Been Awhile

It's been awhile 
Since I could 
Hold my head up high 
And it's been awhile 
Since I first saw you 
And it's been awhile 
Since I could stand 
On my own two feet again 
And it's been awhile 
Since I could call you 
And all the things I can't remember 
As ****ed up as it all may seem 
The consequences that are rendered 
I stretch myself beyond my means 

And it's been awhile 
Since I could say 
That I wasn't addicted 
It's been awhile 
Since I could say 
I loved myself as well 
And it's been awhile 
Since I've gone and 
****ed things up 
Just like I always do 
And it's been awhile 
But all that **** 
Seems to disappear 
When I'm with you 

And everything I can remember 
As ****ed up as it all may seem 
The consequences that I've rendered 
Have gone and ****ed things up again 

Why must I feel this way? 
Just make this go away 
Just one more peaceful day 

It's been awhile 
Since I couldn't 
Look at myself straight 
And it's been awhile 
Since I said, "I'm sorry" 
And it's been awhile 
Since I've seen the way 
The candles light your face 
And it's been awhile 
But I can still remember 
Just the way you taste 

And everything I can remember 
As ****ed up 
As it all may seem to be 
I know it's me 
I cannot blame this on my father 
He did the best he could for me 

It's been awhile 
Since I couldn't 
Hold my head up high 
And it's been awhile 
Since I said, "I'm sorry"